Marriage Retreat

This weekend, I had the privilege to attend a Marriage Enrichment Retreat at The Candlestick Retreat Center in North Carolina (in the middle of nowhere) with other couples from church. Each week, we see each other in church and say "how are you", and maybe wave at each other from afar; but we were able to spend quality time with other people and really get to know each other on a more personal level. The couple leading the retreat were Tom and Brenda Preston, who are involved with Campus Crusade for Christ.

Here are a few main points from this weekend that really meant a lot to me:

1. We all know that there are threats to marriages. Society today doesn't view marriage the same as in the past. Other than worldly views and culture affecting marriages, another is "extra marital affairs". Affairs aren't necessarily with other people. It could be an affair with something, or someplace. Other than Christ, our spouse is supposed to be the one who satisfies and fulfills our needs. When we seek other things to meet our needs, that's an affair. Some examples of affairs people have are with work, our hobbies, computers (Facebook, email, etc.), our children, and alcohol/drugs. Our relationship with our husbands should be the primary relationship - not the relationship with our children. Tom mentioned that so many women try to be super mom and focus more on their children than on their husbands. Basically, he wanted us to focus on our priorities.
2. Another point he made was that all marriages have conflict and hardships. As Christians, Christ never promised us an easier life. Our problems are the same as those who aren't Christians - we all face issues with money, children, jobs, family members, etc. It's how we react and respond to those hardships that seperate us from others. Christians can have faith in a God that will help us get through our problems and grow from them.
3. God created marriage to be like an escalator, not an elevator - you get on and don't get off until the end. We're not meant to push a button and determine how far we want to go with our spouse. We make a vow to stay with our spouse until death.
4. In Ephesians 5:22-23...that infamous verse about women being submissive...they mentioned that so many people think it means that the husband is the boss of the family and the wife is inferior. It means that he is the leader and the head of the household. He makes the final decision for the family, but women are to help make that decision. We are to lift our husbands up, prefer them, understand and encourage them, and help them become the leaders they are called to be. We are to listen to our men so that they know they are important; to support our men and be their #1 fan. One of their quotes was, "If he wins, I win. If he loses, I lose." because we are one single flesh and one family.
5. God created us to be in His image - male & female together mirror His image. In Genesis 2:18, God says it is not good to be alone, so He created Eve - a helper - to bring Adam companionship. She was made to complete Adam, to fill an emptiness and a need in Adam. They used a quote from the first Rocky movie, where Paulie is asking Rocky why he loves Adrienne. Rocky said, "I got gaps. She got gaps. Together, we ain't got no gaps." And that is exactly how God created us. Women have gaps and weaknesses, men have gaps and weaknesses; but together, we are one and have no gaps.

No matter how frustrated we may get with our men - Husbands are a gift from God. To reject our husband is to reject God's gift to us.